Creative types like myself (and perhaps like you, dear reader) thrive off ideas. We also have it drilled into our heads that if we’re not writing/creating/whatever every day that we’re failures. I’ve felt this way since finishing my revisions for NEON TIGER. It’s not been great! In fact, I’ve been struggling so much with it that I’ve been lowkey depressed for the past month. All your other writer friends are working on projects, that nasty voice in the back of my head would say. You’re just being lazy. Write another book.
Alas, dear friends, it’s not always as easy as “write another book.” For some people it might bem but for me? No. Writing another manuscript takes a huge amount of commitment and it can sometimes take me upwards of a year to get done with a first draft. This might be different now that I’ve gone through AMM and have a much stronger grasp on how I want my writing process to work–but I wouldn’t know. Since I haven’t worked on anything. In close to two months.
And it has felt both relaxing and soul-crushing. Why, dear readers? BECAUSE MY MENTAL HEALTH DEPENDS ON MY WRITING!!11 Which is bad. Which is also why I’m returning to therapy.
Anyway, this is not about my burnout. I’ve discussed such things before in a previous post.
This is a post about how I’m finally getting back into the proverbial saddle.
My fears about not being able to write another book are still there. They will probably always be there, never mind that NEON TIGER is like…my fifth completed MS. I love being an insecure mess! Nevertheless, I have PLENTY of new ideas. Plenty. Always have, probably always will. Which ideas make it to a full length manuscript are far and few between. I am VERY picky about what I decide to pursue.
And I think, dear readers, I’ve found an idea I want to pursue. Which means diving back into drafting mode.
I’ve gotten a rough outline of characters and concepts done. I’m working on a Beat Sheet. And soon…it will be drafting time. This frightens me more than I want to admit, especially since I don’t think of myself as a newer writer. I’ve gone through some shit! I know what’s up!
Nevertheless, we gotta keep trying, right?
This is fine. Everything is fine.